So here it is; The political post I said I would never write. I just couldn’t help myself.

I have always been fascinated by human behavior… from the subtle ways people interact with each other to the profound impact a single person can have on the masses. Some of my earliest memories involve quietly noting and analyzing the behavior of everyone around me. Since I hold a (wildly impressive) degree in Sociology, I consider myself a card carrying people watcher. The burden of such a grand title comes with an overwhelming sense of duty to share my profound observations about the world around me. You’re welcome in advance.

On January 20th, 2017 my husband Matt and I traveled to Washington, DC to attend the Presidential Inauguration which we had been graciously invited to attend. If you are already steaming up, take a moment to recognize that both of our major political parties failed to produce candidates anyone wanted to hang their hats on. Furthermore, if you’re already thinking terrible things about me, understand that my views have always been traditionally liberal on social matters and a bit more conservative on matters of policy. I’m a registered Independent and if forced to align with a party I suppose I’d identify as a Libertarian. If you’re still heating up you clearly need to keep reading.

Many of you may have seen my post on Facebook I wrote after watching the incredibly inaccurate coverage of the inauguration on Saturday morning, but if not:

• Since the media is refusing to accurately report the news, I felt it was my duty to share: Yesterday I was threatened, called names, screamed at, pushed, clawed at, and provoked while being filmed in the hopes I would react. At one point a police officer had to reach into a crowd of masked young men who were trying to separate me from my husband to do God knows what during their “peaceful protest”. The entire time I was praying that Matt would keep his cool, and thankfully he did. I witnessed hundreds of people setting fires, smashing windows, spray painting beautiful buildings, spitting on and physically assaulting people (including elderly people). I saw children running, crying and terrified trying to get through the streets with their parents. My heart is racing just thinking about the way these disgusting, hateful, American terrorists were treating our police and military who were there to protect them. The very worst moment by far was seeing people spitting on, putting their cigarettes out on, and throwing their trash on the Naval Memorial. As the granddaughter of a Naval officer, watching some disgraceful punk hang political signs around the neck of the statue of a WWII sailor brought me to tears. All of this in the name of “love and tolerance”. Apparently diversity of thought will not be tolerated by these spoiled, self-righteous, hypocritical bullies. Have a snarky political comment for me? Keep it. There is NO excuse for the ugliness I just witnessed.

Before we go any further, I would like to offer a complimentary philosophy lesson and the reason I will not be arguing politics with anyone:

I am aware that there is a fundamental difference between what I think, and what I know. I will not attempt to pass along my personal opinions as objective statements of truth; I will leave that to the media.

As far as things I know; I will not be engaging in any sort of debate about what I know to be true. Why? Because these types of statements are based on my own personal experiences, and objective in nature… therefor not subject to debate.

Let’s start with what I know.

I was raised by my mother and grandmother; both lifelong democrats. In our house we were taught a few very important truths that have shaped the person I am today.

• Respect will be given to everyone regardless of race, religion, gender, status, or cultural differences. If someone has values that don’t align perfectly with yours, yes, they deserve respect too.
• Interacting with someone who is different than you is a wonderful opportunity to learn something new.
• No one owes you anything. If things don’t go your way, move forward with dignity.
• Pointing fingers when explaining your behavior is never an option. You screw it up, own it.
• “Don’t make waves”. I can still hear my mother saying this. Her point was simple; don’t make trouble for other people. It’s not worth it.
• Beyond respect, privacy, dignity and other obvious rights, you don’t deserve anything. I’m sure this one cuts at people, so let me state it this way: just because someone else has something, doesn’t mean you should have it too. For example: Despite being called a white elitist fascist something-or-another by a woman holding a “Love Trumps Hate” sign, we could not afford fancy things like cable or cell phones when I was a kid. My mother worked harder than most people I know to this day to ensure my brother and I had everything we needed, but there wasn’t room for much else. If we couldn’t afford something, we simply didn’t buy it.
• Working for something is the only means by which anything is achieved. Again, no one owes you anything.
• Don’t feel sorry for yourself. I was never ashamed that we did not have a lot of money when I was a kid. In fact I never really thought about it. I knew I had the things I needed, a loving family, and an incredible group of friends. I was happy, thankful, and aware of the sacrifices that were made for me to live a nice life.

I wanted to share a little bit about who I am for two reasons:

First, I assume many, if not most would claim to agree with many of the same values I hold true. (See this is an example of an opportunity for some good old fashioned debate. Maybe someone is thinking, “No way! Making trouble for people is the best!”) I say this because I believe we all have much more in common than the media would like us to believe.

Second, in my opinion, the behavior of some people during the election process directly contradicts what I always assumed to be rational behavior… but what do I know?

Despite holding some pretty basic values that I assume connects us as humans, I was treated in a way that was nothing short of dehumanizing last week simply because I was walking down the street. No “Make America Great Again” hat. No sign demanding to “Build the Wall”. Just a guy and a gal, hand in hand, strolling down the street. As far as I could tell, the only defining factor that identified us as folks who deserved a good old fashioned verbal lashing was the fact that we were dressed like we were headed to a Young Professionals of America conference. Just for the record, this is not typical garb for us, but clearly it got us in a lot of trouble.I can’t help but laugh when I think about what the protestors thought of Matt. From the neck up it appears he’s clearly protesting something (I believe it’s the barber). From the neck down, he apparently resembled a Russian loving fascist. I can see the conflict.

Since I am almost always thinking about why people do the things they do, I’ve been imagining what the protesters would have thought of my best friend Leslie: Considering the superficial nature in which these folks were identifying who could peacefully walk down the street and who couldn’t, I’m going to assume Leslie would have been left alone. As a matter of fact I bet the two of us together really would have thrown a lot of them off: “Dude, why is that “Never-Trumper” hanging out with a “white elitist?” Little do they know my lovely sidekick is the furthest thing from #withher or a #nastywoman. Do you see where I’m going with all this?

Besides being fundamentally wrong, the biggest problem I had with the protesters judging who was deserving of their obnoxious and hateful comments based on how they were dressed, can be illustrated by the experience of two friends from Boston: This sweet couple had come to DC to visit friends (not to specifically attend the inauguration). While walking down the street back to their hotel with a friend, a few protesters began calling them “Nazi fascists”. In an attempt to defend them, their friend pushed one of the protesters against the wall and consequently landed himself in jail. Just let that simmer for a minute. And no, the fact that there were peaceful protests the following day does not make this any easier to stomach.

How did we get here?

After implying some very advanced and sophisticated methods of sociological research and analysis, I believe I’ve figured it all out: The very moment we start to believe that what we want is more important than the next guy, things start to go really wrong.

My observations of the way people have been treating each other, not just on Inauguration day, but for quite sometime, has led me to a realization about where we may have all gone wrong. We have turned into a society where violence and insulting our neighbors is justifiable when citing our own anger. Anger may lead to hateful behavior, but it in no way validates it.

We are all very different. Someone who grew up in the midwest is clearly not going to fully understand the concerns of the people in California. My neighbors here in Massachusetts don’t have the same political views as people who have spent their entire lives in coal country. It’s just not possible. But at what point does anyone get to say that what they want and value as a voter is more important or virtuous than someone else?

Enough with the labels!!

I know this is going to sound wild and wacky, but it’s actually possible to like guns, gays, gambling, and God all at the same time (ok, I actually do not like gambling but you get the point). Really want to be mind blown? We actually know gay folks who love guns and God! Oh gasp! I know this sounds like a unimaginable paradigm to many people, but I’ve got news for ya, there are more of us. Not all women voted for Hillary. Not all country music lovers voted for Trump. Not all people choose to shove themselves into a box.

Who are these people? And why are they all hiding?

That’s easy. I feel like more and more people in this country are actually pretty sick of all the labels like liberal, conservative, racist, sexist, hippie, elitist… yada, yada. Unfortunately the fear of being slapped with one of these labels and the consequential and unwarranted chastising that follows has kept millions of people from speaking up. The events of January 20th perfectly illustrate this to be the reality in which we live. And it’s wrong.

A voice of reason.

Look, I get it. I’m not insensitive to the millions of people who had hoped for different results on election day. I know the anger isn’t going to go away for a lot of people, but I’d like to share a conversation I had with my sweet grandmother (who refers to herself as a staunch Democrat) shortly after the election. We talked for a long time but what struck me the most is what she said when I asked her if she was upset about the results of the election; “Of course not! Oh honey, it’s very important to a democracy that the power in Washington change hands every so often”.  I then asked her what she thought about the behavior displayed around the country at some of our elite universities regarding “cry rooms” and “safe places” for grown adults to sort through their grief over the election results. After laughing hysterically, she said with a bit of sadness behind her voice, “How can you walk tall with your head held high if you’re on the ground crying?”. I love that woman.

I’ll never claim to be a political scientist. I don’t want to argue with anyone. Why? Because when it comes down to it, I don’t need anyone to hold my beliefs. I truly believe that if we could just step outside of ourselves from time to time we would be able look at each other as equals. I hear a lot of talk about equal this, inclusion that… but when we don’t get our way, all that goes out the window.

I pray that we can all come together with a renewed sense of respect for one other; despite our differences and even more importantly in celebration of them!

Lastly, I was talking to a dear friend about writing this post and she suggested I include this piece of scripture that I read on Inauguration day from my Jesus Calling Book. I hope it helps… 

Thank you to the beautiful and talented Adrienne Schlow for allowing me to use her painting for this post. I found it quite fitting.